To My Future, Negative Self:

Dear Future Self:

Even though you’re writing this post on a pretty good day, you need to know that you need to read, and internalize, these words on your worst of days. While you’re sitting in the doctor’s office. While you’re sitting in the ER or OR waiting rooms. When you have a bad day. This post is for you. Read it. Internalize it. Know you are worth it.

You are a BADASS mom. You kept this SUPER high maintenance kid, Callie Anne, alive. For 2.5 years. On a farm. With germs. With a trach. With setbacks every few months. While working full time and running a farm. You are a formative badass.

You are AMAZING. Despite its challenges, you’re [right now] 50% of the 9th generation of Gauker Farms (Meats). You are the driving force of a cash flow that allowed for the purchase of a farm to carry on to the 10th generation. Many of families have tried their best to do what you’re doing, and you’re doing it despite that challenges presented to you. No excuses, you just do it. Amazing.

You are FIERCE. You work 2 jobs plus the farm and markets. Plus community work. You do it without complaints, because you know it needs to be done and you are the {woman} for the job. You just do it because it’s the right thing to do, and right now your skills are needed here.

You are STRONG. Despite your kid’s drama, familial challenges, and other obstacles along the way, like a new to you job and anything else that jumps in your way, you made it happen. Since moving to Berks County in 2008, despite being absolutely miserable at the time, you did the work necessary to make yourself happy, to make your work meaningful, and to carry on your [married-in-to] family heritage. It was hard. It was challenging. It tested your faith in human beings and nature. But you did it.

You are HAPPY. Your family is, now, relatively speaking, HEALTHY. You could lose weight. You could be in better shape. You shpuld probably talk to a therapist, but at the very least a wine professional, I mean, life coach, maybe?! But your family is keeping on keeping on. And there’s not much more you can HOPE for than that!

Please read this to your future self. When you’re having a bad day, when something happens that yet again tests your faith, when you are down and can’t seem to pull yourself back up, read this. Know how far you’ve come. Know you are you. You are Jodi F-ing Gauker, aka #jfg. And you’re a rock star. AND, the sun NEVER SETS on a rock star.

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4 thoughts on “To My Future, Negative Self:

  1. I have told you many times you are a ROCK STAR. I have always thought you were/are an amazing woman for all you do. You are the BEST mom I have ever known! Callie is so blessed to have you as her mom. Lee is more blessed to have you as his wife, and I am the most blessed to be a part of your family. You and Miss Callie have been and always will be my biggest inspirations. I love you all tons!

  2. You are the most amazing person I know,. I am constantly impressed how you live your life to the fullest and manage all you do with grace and humor. You Rock!

    • I miss you, SO! Please let me know when is a good time to visit you in Wilmington. My schedule is a little more flexible and I would LOVE to catch up with you and introduce you to this mini hot mess version of myself. Miss you, Dea!

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